World Mental Health Day 2020

World Mental Health Day

10th October 2020

I wanted to post yesterday, but I choose not too, Sundays for me are a day of reflection and self-care hence why I chose to put this out there today. This is my story.

I first battled mental health after the birth of Olly, I had the most horrific experience, following an emergancy c-section, and then going onto battle life threatening Septicema, I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Post Natal Depression. I’m proud to say I came out of them quite quickly, and great support around me, but for many others the story is very different.

Throughout the years I’ve battled with bulimia, and body dysmorphia, all because I felt unworthy of love and failed to accept myself for the person I saw on the outside. In February of this year, I was formally diagnosed with Mixed Anxiety and Depressive disorder, due to ongoing issues after being torn down, once again having my self-worth stripped away layer by layer.

In June, it got to the stage I almost ended my life, I put my family through the heartache of leaving a note and disappearing for hours. Luckily, once again my friends and family pulled me through and I now look back at this in shock that I ever allowed someone to make me feel I had no other option. Being accused, humiliated, and put through the agony of watching as everyone else begins to believe these awful rumours was heartbreaking. Luckily, the page has turned on this area of my life, I am no longer on medication, and I strive each day to make sure I always focus on my feelings and understand that becoming me again is a process.

Today I stand here a very different person to the Jessica I’ve known for the last 3 years, I am strong, I appreciate my strengths and I accept that I need to value myself above all else. Slowly I’m beginning to love the person I am, the person I always have been, deep down.

Working with young people experiencing mental health issues is my absolute passion, if I can make a tiny difference in one persons day, even just in a tiny second, make them feel appreciated, valued and safe then that makes it all worth while. One day I’ll be able to support many others, and for that I can’t wait.

If you ever feel low, broken or at rock bottom, just know I’m always here, my door is always open and I promise to listen ❤️